"Randy, I am the liquor."


By Matthew Le Blanc

You are the centre of your own universe, or at least that was the message Sunnyvale Trailer Park Supervisor Jim Lahey tried to convey to students last Thursday.

Mohawk welcomed Pat Roach and John Dunsworth, better known as Randy and Mr. Lahey, to the Arnie for the second year in a row to watch the TPB co-stars hilarious juvenile behaviour.

The performance itself was a pseudo-variety show where they hocked new inventions, sang songs, dropped f-bombs and humiliated themselves all for the sake of laughter. Having no set course, the experience was as chaotic as it was humorous.

One of the inventions showcased was a lobster you could put in your pants and pull out when you’ve grown tired of being on a date. Another being a funnel attached to a pair of woman’s underwear, giving the wearer the distinct ability to urinate while standing. All of the items were said to be available through their Poop Over Troubled Waters website.

Crowd participation played an important role in the evening as well. Randy politely asked the audience to sing along to songs like Day-O and their revised version of the Canadian National Anthem. Somewhere in there, a willing participant was invited on stage and eventually sandwiched between Randy’s shirtless body and Lahey’s alcohol drenched supervisor uniform.

Later in the night, Lahey hopped into the audience and took what looked like a rolled up piece of paper from one of the students, and using a self-made hot box, shockingly proceeded to smoke it. After the show, Randy confessed that the object was a mix of basil, thyme and pubic hair.

Despite the turnout being noticeably smaller than last year, the people in attendance enjoyed every minute of their liquor-fuelled evening.

And as it came to a close, perhaps the truest and most sober words spoken all night came from Lahey himself.

“We love you all. Without you, we would be nothing.”

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: